Elliott Smith—[Miss Misery]—中譯

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Elliott Smith - 一個外表靦腆的美國歌手。可以說是因為受到Gus van Sant的邀請為Good Will Hunting一片作幾首歌而讓更多人接觸到他的音樂。該片電影的主題曲Miss Misery也獲得1997年奧斯卡金像獎最佳電影主題曲提名。

長期的沮喪﹐酗酒和毒癮讓他於2003年以匕首自刺胸部結束自己的生命﹐年僅34。

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Miss Misery

Artist: Elliott Smith

I’ll fake it through the day,
with some help from Johnny Walker Red,
send the poison rain down the drain
to put bad thoughts in my head
Two tickets torn in half
and a lot of nothing to do
Do you miss me, miss misery,
like you say you do?

A man in the park read the lines in my hand,
told me I’m strong
Hardly ever wrong, I said, man, you mean … (you)

You had plans for both of us
that involved a trip out of town
to a place I’ve seen in a magazine
that you left lying around
I don’t have you with me
but I keep a good attitude
Do you miss me, miss misery,
like you say you do?

I know you’d rather see me gone
than to see me the way that I am
but I am in the life anyway

Next door the TV’s flashing
Blue frames on the wall
It’s a comedy of errors, you see
it’s about taking a fall
To vanish into oblivion is easy to do
And I try to be but you know me
I’d come back when you want me to
Do you miss me, miss misery
like you say you do?

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思念悲傷

我會整日假裝
借助紅標約翰走路
下毒像下雨就這麼逐流而去
往腦子裡注入糟糕的想法
兩張撕裂為二的票
一堆的無所是事
你想我嗎﹐想念悲傷
就像你說你會的﹖

在公園裡有人讀看我的掌線
告訴我說我是堅強的
那可是一點也不假﹐我說﹐老兄﹐你說的可是 … (你)

你曾計劃著讓我們倆
出趟門離開這個城市
到一個地方﹐一個我在一本雜誌裡看過的地方
在一本你隨手留下的雜誌裡
我的身邊沒有你
但我儘量保持樂觀
你想我嗎﹐想念悲傷
就像你說你會的﹖

我知道你寧可看到我消失
也不願看見我現在的樣子
但是我偏偏還活著

隔壁的電視還在閃映
藍色的畫面映在牆上
演著有關錯誤的喜劇﹐你看
演著有關沉淪
消失到沒有感覺的遺忘裡是很容易的
我在試著﹐可是你知道的
我會回頭的﹐如果你要我
你想我嗎﹐想念悲傷
就像你說你會的﹖

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徐志摩—[偶然]—英譯

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試著把徐志摩的《偶然》譯成英文，這算是draft，還不滿意，改天再看能不能修飾得更好。

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偶然

作者: 徐志摩

我是天空裡的一片雲，
偶爾投影在你的波心
你不必驚異，
更無須歡喜
在轉瞬間消滅了蹤影。

你我相逢在黑夜的海上，
你有你的，我有我的，方向；
你記得也好，
最好你忘掉，
在這交會時互放的光亮。

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I am a cloud in the sky
casting random shadow in your heart
you need not startle
nor take delight
for I’d forthwith vanish without a trace

You and I met in the darkness of night at sea
You have your destination, I have mine

You may remember
though it’d be best if you forgot
we glowed as our paths crossed and brightly shined

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much a do about nothing

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You ask me why I’m vague. My answer is I don’t know. I know too little about anything to offer a satisfactory explanation, even if it were about myself.

How do you have an opinion when you don’t know what to think anymore?

This is a society of ‘whatever’; anything goes and everything hangs loose. How do you construct an argument (mostly for argument’s sake) from loose material and expect it to support itself. It may be possible but I do not have the courage to witness a very probable collapse for a very slim possibility of otherwise. You can call me a coward for lacking such courage, but at least give me some credit for being honest about it.

The little knowledge and life experience of my so-called life seem insufficient in extending my theorising capacity as I toy with my thoughts with hope of expanding them. So far without fail I confuse myself everytime I try to think things through. There has been not once when I succeeded in convincing myself about something. Limbo is where I end up almost always; never close enough to heaven to bask in its glory nor distant enough from hell to be safe against the scorching heat of its inferno. Somewhere in limbo and aware of the extremes, I have started to wonder why I bother at all for I have doubts about moving in any direction.

What good are directions when destinations are unknown? Why choose a destination when it will not matter in the end? If you are not going to get up and do what it is that you think about doing, then perhaps it’s better to not think about it at all. Again, perhaps I’ve fallen into another confusion of mine.

So please, don’t ask me questions that I cannot answer. You would save both you and me a great deal of time. And what would I do with the saved time? Nothing. I’d just idle it away in my solitude. At least, that is pure. There is purity in idleness so long it is unpolluted by discontent consideration of what could have been done and what could be done.

Some give such idleness a fancy name, they call it meditation. To me, it is just idleness, uncluttered by thoughts if possible.

It’s not even peace, it is just idleness as is.
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徐志摩—[渺小]—英譯

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雖然自覺徐志摩的詩裡記得最熟最深的應該是《偶然》﹐
但最常在腦子裡重複不斷的常客卻是《渺小》。
順便把它翻譯成英文，日後再加以修飾。
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我仰望群山的蒼老　他們不說一句話
陽光渺出我的渺　　小草在我的腳下

我一人停在路隅　　傾聽空谷的松籟
青天裡有白雲盤踞　轉眼間忽又不在

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I look up to the mountain range in their ancient green
they utter not a word

Sunshine traces my insignificant self
grass shoots underfoot

On the verge of a path alone I stand
listening to pines rustling echoed in the vast valley
In the blue sky white clouds gather
only to disappear as I blink my eyes

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more and all

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when you bury your heart in the past
you tend to feel less of the present
if at all

for some reason you feel responsible for a self
that seems less than whole
you get on your feet to find find out more

when you start digging for what you left behind
you tend to find not just a skeleton or two
but a whole lot more

now looking at all the extra work you’ve uncovered
you realise moving forward is more than a chore

you wish you had been lazy to the core
so you’d never have to deal with it all
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just right or alright

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do we ever get it just right?
probably never.

we think too little when we should bang our heads more.
we think too much when we should care less and just let it go.
it’s either too much or too little, over or not enough,
too soon or too late.

where’s the balance?
balance is a target never reached.

how do you achieve balance?
you don’t but you must try nonetheless.

one day, you might get close enough,
and it’ll be alright.
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big heart

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sometimes your heart swells up and you let it get bigger than your head,
then you let it take you for a spin without safety belts.

oh, boy! do you feel like throwing up afterwards or what!
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headstrong

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you need to ask yourself:
do you feel with your head or your heart?

sometimes i see you looking away
because you think you should
not because you want to

sometimes i hear you say things to convince yourself
instead of to express yourself

sometimes you walk away
because you don’t know how to deal with conflict of interest
not because you want nothing to do with it

i see you wandering
under pressure
with each step you take
the distance between us grows
with each turn you make
you left me a maze with no clues

there seems nothing i can do

if anything
the least i could do is stay away from messing with your head
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be frank

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if you’re not intending on helping all the way, then don’t pretend to be an all-promising caring soul.
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if you could know me again

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there are so many things that require an explanation
yet i am not going to be any good at explaining them
there are so many things to be said
so much so that i dread it an awful lot
it’d be easier to just give up
and leave misunderstandings as they are

i don’t know how to do good
i don’t have a track record for doing things just right

i’m prone to stuffing it all up
though i do try my hardest afterwards
to set right the aftermaths

if only you could know me again
that would save me a lot of talking about my weary self
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not enough

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you know you have enough
when you have some already and could do without more

when you have lost what you once had
and recovery unobtainable
the taste of what could have been
only stand to intensify
making everything else incomparable
and incomplete

unless you change your appetite
you’ll never have enough
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it happens

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he who walks alone
knows where he is going or not
either way he knows

he who walks with a crowd
likes to go where everyone is going
so long he is not alone

he who walks alongside others but consciously keeping his distance
often takes cover in a crowd to hide his loneliness
while getting used to solitude

he who walks alone
regardless if there is anyone around him has either
completely found himself or
completely lost himself;
either way not many would want to walk with him

sometimes being alone is something that just happens
so does loneliness
it happens
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not a cloud in the sky

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there is not a cloud in the sky
i wish i could say the same about my mind

if there was a lake here
there would be a layer of gentle ripples afloat
reflecting the distance in her eyes
as each glance ripples away from me

if there was a lake here
i would be strolling the lakeside for pebbles
small round pebbles
that feels right between the fingers
that i could throw across and into the lake
making them jump on the water surface as they dart across
making my own ripples against her reflection

as ripples ripple into one another
maybe we would turn to look at each other in the eyes

there is no lake here
but blue sky and countless people walking by
behind my shades
i’m dreaming of a lake in my mind
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within reason

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what the hell does that mean - within reason?

whose reasoning are we basing it on?

we often say things that create more ambiguity and confusion than had we said nothing.

“do you get what i mean?”

no, i don’t, and i’m not sure if i want to get what you mean, if it means screwing up what i think i have understood for myself.

if you’re not intending on helping, don’t pretend to be an eloquent caring soul.

show some respect for those who at least have the courtesy to distress in silence.
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be gone

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don’t come any closer
you keep your distance
i’ve had enough of you looming around
nearer and nearer
sneaking up on me
when i least expect it

i should blast the music
blast away your whispering in my head
if there was no way
then don’t play with my head

if you are as good as gone
then don’t remind me what i have foregone
just leave it along with the bygones
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